Post by owlfeather on Dec 10, 2008 3:53:53 GMT
Book 3
78
"There is no time to evade its attack and you must fight the creature to death."
...fight the creature to THE death.
(82 - animal kinship turn to 329)
329
"The noises that you hear are Kalkoth. There are three of these VICIOUS creatures, inhabitants of the mountains of Kalte."
suggest changing VICIOUS to VENOMOUS. The Kalkoth are so deadly that a single point of damage will kill you, and there are three of them! I see people here on PA complaining that Animal Kinship is a worthless skill. Wouldn't it be nice if it at least gave a little warning here to the reader of just how deadly these guys are?
Book 4
132
"If you feel uneasy about the tavern, turn to 67."
suggest
"...tavern, AND WISH TO LEAVE TOWN, turn to 67."
It isn't clear from the text IMO that 67 really means exiting the tavern, you and all your men getting back on their horses, and everybody leaving town.
Book 5
20 footnote 3 appears on the last option, where it might be missed, since people winning won't necessarily look at the entry for losing. Move the number three to appear at the end of the section's only sentence:
"Frantically the warrior pulls on the reins and tries to trample you beneath the hooves of his startled horse.3"
211
"The man looks delighted by your reaction to his wine and offers to sell you A bottle for 5 Gold Crowns. If you wish to buy A Bottle of Kourshah, pay the man 5 Gold Crowns and make the necessary adjustments your Action Chart. (There is enough Kourshah in the bottle to restore a further 4 ENDURANCE points.)"
change A and A to THE and THE
...adjustments TO your Action Chart...
246
"If you possess the Kai Discipline of Tracking, TURNED to 220."
TURN
321
"At first the vaxeler is A suspicious and frightened--nobody has dared to enter his cave for many years."
delete A
333
"You recognize it to be a Zlanbeast, creature rather like a Kraan but far larger than its leathery subspecies."
...Zlanbeast, A creature...
389
"As you leap from the gangplank onto landing platform, "
...onto THE landing platform...
78
"There is no time to evade its attack and you must fight the creature to death."
...fight the creature to THE death.
(82 - animal kinship turn to 329)
329
"The noises that you hear are Kalkoth. There are three of these VICIOUS creatures, inhabitants of the mountains of Kalte."
suggest changing VICIOUS to VENOMOUS. The Kalkoth are so deadly that a single point of damage will kill you, and there are three of them! I see people here on PA complaining that Animal Kinship is a worthless skill. Wouldn't it be nice if it at least gave a little warning here to the reader of just how deadly these guys are?
Book 4
132
"If you feel uneasy about the tavern, turn to 67."
suggest
"...tavern, AND WISH TO LEAVE TOWN, turn to 67."
It isn't clear from the text IMO that 67 really means exiting the tavern, you and all your men getting back on their horses, and everybody leaving town.
Book 5
20 footnote 3 appears on the last option, where it might be missed, since people winning won't necessarily look at the entry for losing. Move the number three to appear at the end of the section's only sentence:
"Frantically the warrior pulls on the reins and tries to trample you beneath the hooves of his startled horse.3"
211
"The man looks delighted by your reaction to his wine and offers to sell you A bottle for 5 Gold Crowns. If you wish to buy A Bottle of Kourshah, pay the man 5 Gold Crowns and make the necessary adjustments your Action Chart. (There is enough Kourshah in the bottle to restore a further 4 ENDURANCE points.)"
change A and A to THE and THE
...adjustments TO your Action Chart...
246
"If you possess the Kai Discipline of Tracking, TURNED to 220."
TURN
321
"At first the vaxeler is A suspicious and frightened--nobody has dared to enter his cave for many years."
delete A
333
"You recognize it to be a Zlanbeast, creature rather like a Kraan but far larger than its leathery subspecies."
...Zlanbeast, A creature...
389
"As you leap from the gangplank onto landing platform, "
...onto THE landing platform...