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Post by blaise on Jul 27, 2007 18:30:21 GMT
Well the most attractive woman Lone wolf meets is probably this one in book 16: www.projectaon.org/en/xhtml/lw/16tlov/sect21.htmOk the hairs look dirty but that's a middle age society, it's not like they were taking showers every day. Besides, she has a little something... |
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Post by Black Cat on Jul 27, 2007 19:00:36 GMT
Indeed... she seems a very romantic girl...  |
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Post by Doomy on Jul 27, 2007 20:18:39 GMT
You'd need your Bor goggles on for that one.
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Post by Wolfus on Jul 27, 2007 20:55:50 GMT
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Post by ramthelinefeed on Jul 27, 2007 23:53:46 GMT
As you can see, she has a pair of enormous jugs ;D
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Post by HuntingWolf on Jul 28, 2007 4:03:44 GMT
"I like your jugs."
"Excuse me?"
"On the shelf behind you."
"Oh. I was hoping you meant - nevermind... You want another drink, fella?
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Post by smitty on Jul 28, 2007 4:39:41 GMT
You have to be kidding. She looks like Rosie O'Donnel. Im sure Lonewolf wouldnt do her with Banedon's pecker and Lord Haakon pushing.
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Post by section350 on Jul 28, 2007 5:46:07 GMT
Look, Lone Wolf doesn't have time for the relationships, because his world is in PERPETUAL peril and he's the only one with the skills and equipment to save it. He doesn't have a girl because if he did Naar would've claimed Aon a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time ago.
*Lone Wolf gathers his belongings. Stuffs a few meals and bottles of laumspur in his trusty backpack, straps a few keys to his special item belt, grabs the sommerswerd and slides it in to his korlinium scabbard with that old familiar sliding sound he knows so well. He's about to grab 50 from the big ol' jug of gold crowns on the mantle when....*
Mrs. Wolf: And just where do YOU think YOU'RE going?
LW: Um, see, Lencia is about to be overrun with a zombie horde and...
Mrs. Wolf: Do you have ANY idea what today is?
LW: Um, Tuesday?
Mrs. Wolf: MY PARENTS are riding in to town today to visit us for a week and see their new grandchild, and this place is a mess!
LW: But Ixiataaga has found the deathstaff and--
Mrs. Wolf: I don't care who's found the whatstaff! You need to find the garbage can and empty it, because it's starting to smell! And the chamber pot also needs emptying, and the sink is acting up again, and I still don't have anything to cook for dinner tonight. YOU SAID YOU'D FIX THAT.
*Lone Wolf sadly nods his head and begs Ishir and the Lencians -- if there are any left after all this is over -- to forgive him, as he meekly mutters "yes dear" and puts his gear down, trading sommerswerd for pipe wrench as he prepares to fix the sink. And then take out the garbage. And then clean out the chamber pot. And then go into town to buy a pig to take home and slaughter for dinner. And.... And.... And...*
Meanwhile, Naar cackled triumphantly.
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Post by Doomy on Jul 28, 2007 8:32:05 GMT
Look, Lone Wolf doesn't have time for the relationships, because his world is in PERPETUAL peril and he's the only one with the skills and equipment to save it. James Bond does OK though... |
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Post by Black Cat on Jul 28, 2007 17:16:46 GMT
Look, Lone Wolf doesn't have time for the relationships, because his world is in PERPETUAL peril and he's the only one with the skills and equipment to save it. James Bond does OK though... Yes, two chicks per movie... But half of them are killed before the ending credits though... Do you think those that survive the ending credits wants to run a chance to get kill in the subsequent movie? |
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Post by HuntingWolf on Jul 28, 2007 19:52:11 GMT
You know as Lone Wolf is heading to town for the pig, he has to be thinking, "Ishar and Kai, I hate her parents.... that old bat is always telling me to rub her feet... And the old geezer is always asking 'does this look different to you?' Well, forget it! I might not have the Sommerswerd, but I'll be DAMNED if SHE is gonna tell ME what to do!" Then he turns his horse towards Lencia.
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Post by section350 on Jul 28, 2007 21:35:37 GMT
To answer somewhat more seriously...
The Kai were monks, essentially. (Warrior-Monks, yes, but still monks). Monasteries/Monastic Orders in our real world were known for isolating themselves from the world and being self sufficient and not "debasing" themselves with the impurities and temptations of the outside world. Celibacy was often the law of the land. The Kai Order may have been the same way. Ergo Lone Wolf might have been told "sorry, no chicks, that's part of the deal." Not to say he never thought about breaking that rule (and not to say he never actually did) but after the first order was wiped out, he may have felt a little extra pressure/guilt to do the order proud and play by ALL the rules.
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Post by Doomy on Jul 28, 2007 23:32:25 GMT
Actually, the reason there's no sex in the Lone Wolf books is because they were sold in the children's department.
Any amount of violence and killing is perfectly acceptable entertainment for children, but God forbid they inadvertently learn about an act that is not only pleasant rather than destructive but is necessary for the continuation of the species.
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Post by HuntingWolf on Jul 29, 2007 3:47:44 GMT
Well, Doomy, maybe you'll get your wish. Perhaps Joe will write that Lone Wolf gets beaten up, and plowed by a female Giak (if there were any), and then beheaded and eaten. With A1 Steak Sauce.
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Post by MikeH on Jul 29, 2007 5:28:34 GMT
I think the only chance of LW getting wood in the new series is if he picks up a quarterstaff.
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