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Post by Relenoir on May 19, 2004 23:19:19 GMT
Ronan: I just finished a class, and have not been blowing off your story. I'm in between classes for a week and plan to do it this weekend. Just wanted to let you know I didn't forget about it! I'll let you know what I thought after I read it.
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Post by Sarra on May 20, 2004 12:44:53 GMT
Ronan: I just finished a class, and have not been blowing off your story. I'm in between classes for a week and plan to do it this weekend. Just wanted to let you know I didn't forget about it! I'll let you know what I thought after I read it. Oh don't worry about it. I myself have been extremely busy myself lately. It is nearing the end of the school year so not only have my studies been forced to pick up but I have been working more. Tomorrow is my first day off in almost two weeks! I totally understand. Lone Wolf may be great but it isn't everything.
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Post by Sarra on May 20, 2004 13:57:42 GMT
You have phrases like 'bastard sword' and 'puke-crusted floorboards' - this is demonstrates a very poor command of the original source material. The books should inspire, not creak with cliched writing Joe Okay Joe, I was hoping that somebody would have the nerve to post some critisizm so I could promptly counter it. First of all the term 'Bastard Sword' is simply the name of medieval weapon which appears in many RPGs which many fans of Lone Wolf love. It is simply a term. As for your other complaint: The adjectives that I use throughout the story are yes sometimes slightly less than tastefull. However Joe Dever has had similar descriptions of people, creatures, scenery which is just as equally grotesqe. Ian Page (World of Lone Wolf) has done this even moreso. I hope I cleared up any confusion. If you feel as if you do not like how I prepared the story then the solution is simple. Don't read it.
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Post by John C on May 20, 2004 14:29:22 GMT
I'm afraid I agree with Joe1952 in part; whilst I applaude your initiative and enthusiasm I feel that your choice of phrases is more colloquial. It just does not feel like the reader is in Magnamund.
Whilst I am at pains not to try to offend you, I feel that you are not doing justice to the great Joe Dever originals. Therefore I shall take your rather mean spirited advice to Joe1952 and not read it
Regards
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Post by ShinJuKen on May 20, 2004 14:58:16 GMT
I've read the comments by Joe and John and feel that they are slightly unfair. Guys, for every book (take Lord of the Rings for example) there are always folks who think it is amazing and some who think it's awful. We should not be in the process of slating someone's work just because we don't agree with it.
Keep your chin up Ronan and don't worry: i reckon it'll get a good response.
Just on a seperate slightly anally bureaucratic note, do you have copyright permission for this? Joe Dever might not mind, but the publisher people may
Keep up the good work mate
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Post by Sarra on May 20, 2004 16:12:11 GMT
I feel as if I wasn't "mean spirited", as you so put it, towards Joe in any way. I am sorry if you do not like how I wrote the book. It is not meant as a direct parallelism of Joe Dever's series. I'm not Joe Dever. I do take into consideration your slightly less than constructive comments and will do my best to incorporate them. Because I do take any and all comments that you guys have into careful consideration. I'm not the bad guy here and I certainly don't appretiate because put in that position.
I am doing my best to simply create a substory with entertainment purposes for the readers of Lone Wolf. I like the rest of you do not wish for the series to simply die out. And flaming of my work is not appretiated. However constructive critizism is always welcomed. I do my very best to please the reader. Alot of time and energy went into that book. I am only 17 years old, haven't taken any above-high school writing classes, nor any writing experience. And with those factors in mind I think I did a very good job.
Right now I am working my butt off to complete the second book (total of 350 sections) on top of going to school full time and having two jobs. I have worked very, very hard on this and all I ask is that critizism is given in a more posative manner.
I am deeply sorry and have no qualms with apologizing if I have offended anybody. The purpose of the book was not to paralelle Joe Dever's work but to simply provide some short fun to his fans. For those of you who have emailed me or posted with comments, praises, and critizisms alike, posatively I thank you.
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Post by outspaced on May 20, 2004 16:55:49 GMT
Just on a seperate slightly anally bureaucratic note, do you have copyright permission for this? Joe Dever might not mind, but the publisher people may According to Joe Dever in an interview from 1998 reproduced at http://www.magnamund.org: Bryan/Ronan has credited Joe Dever as author of the Lone Wolf series and creator of Magnamund (c) 1983-2004, so I don't see that there's any copyright issues here. (I answered this because it's probably a useful thing for all Lone Wolf fans to know that Joe doesn't mind us writing fiction set in his world; but legally we need to credit him as the copyright and Trademark holder.)
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Post by Sarra on May 20, 2004 19:33:35 GMT
Thank you, outspaced, I was getting to that.
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Post by outspaced on May 20, 2004 20:48:56 GMT
Thank you, outspaced, I was getting to that. Yeah, I know. I just felt that the message had a wider scope than just your one gamebook (since lots of people have written Lone Wolf-related material). And you'd credited it properly, so you get a pat on the back and a lollipop. Don't forget to brush your teeth afterwards!
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Post by Sarra on May 21, 2004 16:24:52 GMT
Thanks alot outspaced. Your help so far is matched only by that of the Wytch-king. I don't have to work tonight so I will have some time to write. Not much time because I need to drive into town and get my check and do some errands. But I am going to do my best. Take care yall.
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Post by The Tagazin Poodle on May 21, 2004 17:20:55 GMT
Ronan, if you're still distributing, I'd like a copy. You'll get my e-mail in a PM.
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Post by Sarra on May 21, 2004 17:42:59 GMT
Ronan, if you're still distributing, I'd like a copy. You'll get my e-mail in a PM. It is sent. Enjoy! ;D On another note if anyone has revieced the word version and would prefer the PDF simply email me and I will send it to you. It is ALOT easier to use. Thanks for the PDF version go to Simon Osbourne (outspaced).
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Post by outspaced on May 21, 2004 18:17:51 GMT
Thanks alot outspaced. Your help so far is matched only by that of the Wytch-king. Yeah, he and I are becoming a regular double-act! Of course, I'm working on my 'adults-only' material with Hal! ;D I'm glad what I've said / done has been of some help. Writing is very much an on-the-job learning curve; school, in my experience, teaches you very, very little about it, or about use of language, for that matter. Drop the two years devoted to that dead guy who wrote the tedious sonnets and actually teach the class how to use English properly why don'tcha, teachers! In writing fiction, I still have yet to find my own 'voice'; what little fiction I write is almost exclusively in the style of H P Lovecraft. So while I am pointing out typos to you, Ronan, believe me when I say that I'm genuinely impressed by your work (still haven't finished reading it; still languishing in Section 244) and by the way you designed your gamebook. Keep it up. Oh, and on a lighter note: why does everyone mis-spell my name?
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Post by Sarra on May 21, 2004 18:28:55 GMT
Of course, I'm working on my 'adults-only' material with Hal! ;D *Cough* 17 counts as 'adult' right? *Cough, cough*
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Post by The Tagazin Poodle on May 21, 2004 18:46:40 GMT
Got it, thanks! I'll read it over the weekend. Oh, and on a lighter note: why does everyone mis-spell my name? It's just the way of the world. People have been misspelling my first name for years (the real one, that is). *Cough* 17 counts as 'adult' right? *Cough, cough* According to my family, 28 doesn't count.
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