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Post by PurpleTurtle on Dec 9, 2004 19:29:03 GMT
We have to assume that a Vonotar armed with the Lorestones would be quite another matter. Also, his ruffians are among the worst criminals in Summerlund's history. Actually, this begs the question: could Vonotar, being a creature of Dark, use the Lorestones? Or, like Agarash, would they resist him? He's not trying to absorb their yummy goodness and become a Kai lord. He's trying to tap into their latent power and empower a spell to reopen the shadow gate. Also, he's a human, so the Lorestones probably don't harm him as directly as they would a demon like Agarash.
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Post by Zipp on Dec 10, 2004 5:16:55 GMT
Well, in any case, he seems to easily beat the [nuts] out of Lone Wolf in that adventure, so he must be somewhat of a threat, right? Even if it is a threat hiding behind the Chaos Master's left foot, and a gang of the worst crims of Summerlund.
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Post by Sol on Dec 10, 2004 16:03:15 GMT
I just know that the worst criminals in Sommerlund would have beat the @!#? out of Vonotar just as soon as they were back in Magnamund. I mean just check out the difference in Combat Skill!
Criminals: "We should kill you." Vonotar: "My my my then, who ever would get you back to Sommerlund? According to my magical powers, the Lorestones will be here any time now and I can wisk us through the magical Shadow Gate with its yummy goodness." Criminals: "We can always kill you later - ha ha." Vonotar: "Lone Wolf, please come kill me."
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Post by BenKenobi on Dec 10, 2004 16:49:13 GMT
I always thought that Vonotar doesn't know that returning to Magnamund, he will find the Darklords at the edge of their power, and very little space to hide... what can he (and his little band of criminals) do, against the empire of the Darklords ? Vonotar: Gnaag, forgive my betrayal... I can help you to conquer Sommerlund ! Gnaag: Too late, I've already conquered the entire Magnamund myself. Vonotar: Don't kill me ! I've been useful to you, entrapping Lone Wolf in the Daziarn. Gnaag: Well done. Now die. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Sol on Dec 10, 2004 21:46:25 GMT
>:(Vonotar: Ha ha, Lone Wolf, you face me now, the bane of Magnamund's existance! You face Vonotar!
8-)Lone Wolf: Didn't I kick your butt when I was just a Kai Guardian? I am Lone Wolf the Scion-Kai now!
>:(Vonotar: Scion-what?
8-)Lone Wolf: You wouldn't understand. Basically I am the strongest Kai Lord who has ever lived next to Sun-Eagle.
>:(Vonotar: You feared me then and you shall fear me now! Behold! I have your yummy Lorestone!
8-)Lone Wolf: I never feared you. Last time we met, you summoned an Akraa' Neonor, then he practically ate you. And oh yeah, my grandpappy, Loi-Kymar, nailed you with his Chia-Herb-Garden.
>:(Vonotar: At least it smelled good.
8-)Lone Wolf: Well, too bad you don't. Also since time passes differently here, I have had years to hone my skills and reach the near-pinnacle of perfection. According to the Beholder, you've been here for what? A week-and-a-half?
>:(Vonotar: Long enough to rally the worst criminals in Sommerlund! Many consider them to be more deadly than even ye!
8-)Lone Wolf: That's because there are twenty of them.
>:(Vonotar: Mock not! Have you not heard of Greedo? He stole lots of stuff and boy was Ulnar angered! And what of Lyaya? She has seduced many a man with her wiles and then killed them in their pajamas.
8-)Lone Wolf: Petty thievery doesn't impress me. And as for Lyaya, I hope you know that we Kai are CELEBATE monks!
>:(Vonotar: Curses, why, Gar the Red killed ten armed guards in cold blood!
8-)Lone Wolf: I've killed over 200 enemies in the last eleven adventures including a centuries-old wizard, a dragon, 7 helghasts, two darklords, the evil leader of Vassagonia, and a God of Chaos. I also killed Halvorc the merchant, a taxadermist, a monkey, and Captain Kelman... twice.
>:(Vonotar: You filthy vermin! You would be nothing without the Sommerswerd! You dirty cheater!
8-)Lone Wolf: puts the sword on the ground and raises an eyebrow
>:(Vonotar: Fool! Now I have you! Gar, get the sword! The rest of you, attack!
Gar grabs the sword, but as he does so, the Sommerswerd burns off all the fingers on his right hand, all the way down to the nub. Lone Wolf snickers, remembering back to the fun he had in Zadha's Maze.
As the other criminals charge toward him, Lone Wolf "accidentally" drops his belt pouch which splits open to dump two diamonds, a sack of silver, and 50 Gold Crowns (the Maximum Amount), all over the floor. Greedo goes for it and Lone Wolf kicks him in the butt. This snaps Greedo's neck since Lone Wolf has reached the rank of Scion-Kai and has WeaponMastery... he loses no points when he enters combat unarmed, but gets an extra +6 when he is wearing boots.
As the rest of the thugs come after him, Lone Wolf takes out the Dagger of Vashna, a Jewelled Mace, the Silver Bow of Duadon, a Magic Spear, a quarterstaff, and a spanking paddle (Most of these are special items which Lone Wolf keeps tucked inside his pants and do not count toward his 2-weapon limit). Soon all of the criminals are down and Lone Wolf drinks ten potions of Laumspur, a potion of Alether, and some Oede Herb just in case.
>:(Vonotar: AHHAAAHAAA! Don't come near me or I might break this Lorestone! Drop all your weapons and your Weapon-Like-Special-Items right now or else I make an Ommlette!
Lone Wolf grumbles and drops his arsenal.
8-)Vonotar: That's right. Now I kill you like you always knew I would. DIE!
A hurtling blue-red-orange bolt of lightning flies from Vonotar's fingers straight for Lone Wolf's chest. All of a sudden, the Crystal Star Pendant pops out and deflects the raw energy straight back at Vonotar who is soon ablaze.
>:(Vonotar: AAAHHH! AHHHH!
8-)Vonotar, if you mend your evil ways, I'll give you some Laumspur. But you have to promise.
>:(I'll do it! Just save me!
Lone Wolf puts out all the fire with his Nexus ability, then hands over the potion.
>:(Fool! I was lying!
8-)So was I. That's Graveweed. With cherry syrup in there to make it look like Laumspur.
Vonotar dies dramatically and the Lorestone goes flying through the air. It breaks open - a little chickadee jumps out, ruffles its feathers, and flies away.
Lone Wolf shrugs.
8-)Lone Wolf: Let's skip the bushido, Shadow Gate. I've taken on tougher doors than you.
The Shadow Gate opens and Lone Wolf returns to the land where he was born.
FIN
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Post by Black Cat on Dec 11, 2004 2:10:20 GMT
This is just funny! I've been laughing from the beginning to the end of it! ;D ;D ;D You should write more of these spoofs.
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Post by Peregrine on Dec 11, 2004 6:03:52 GMT
Oh well done Sol. That's just too good. (Though I'm surprised that Lone Wolf doesn't absorb the broken Lorestone, and possibly lay another one later. )
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Post by BenKenobi on Dec 11, 2004 16:09:17 GMT
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D BWAH AH AH AHA A HA H !!!!!! Very well... but I didn't found that combat SO easy when I played the book... I was really weakened by the previous fights... ... just great, the whole Graveweed part !!!
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Post by Sol on Dec 11, 2004 22:23:26 GMT
You guys are so great! I'm glad you liked it. The ending could have been different - Peregrine, I thought about having LW absorb the Lorestone, or make scrambled eggs, or even put it back together with Mind Over Matter, but I guess I figured that the story could only have one punch-line ending and went with the Shadow-Gate-door gag. But the beauty is this: it's all Lone Wolf, so YOU can choose your own ending! haha.
Plus I somehow found it funny that after all LW's superhuman theatrics that the Lorestone would simply drop and break. Go fig!
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Post by Sol on Dec 11, 2004 22:39:39 GMT
Peregrine,
OK, OK, so I couldn't help but mess around with the ending! It was driving me crazy!
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Post by Peregrine on Dec 12, 2004 7:42:15 GMT
Bwahaha! ;D That's no chickadee, it's a baby Nyxator! (But yes, I definitely agree with keeping the Shadow Gate joke over the others. Love it.)
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